Week 22

Hey!
I've been in the field for 3 whole months now!  I thought I would be a
much better missionary by now, haha.  Oh well, I have a feeling I'll
never be where I would like to be. It's a lifelong process... :-)
I'm getting a little nervous for the day Sister Swarna leaves me,
haha.  She's my nanay in the field (mother).  I am her bata (child).
She's finished raising me (I'm finished with the 12 week training
program), but it's time for me to be on my own... I'm a little excited
and nervous at the same time.  Just like in real life, huh? :-)  Of
course I won't really be on my own, I'll have my new companion, but I
will have to remember where everyone lives and all about their
situations in life and how to help them and I'll really have to use my
Hiligaynon so much more.  It will be good for me.

I think the biggest thing that I'm learning more and more each day is
how to love.  I have to love everyone!  And sometimes it's not easy to
love someone who has different standards and beliefs than you do, but
it's not until you soften your heart and love them, that hearts are
changed, your own included.  I don't know if that really made a lot of
sense... it's so complicated... I have to think about others and love
others with all my heart and not think about myself at all for the
work to be as good as it can, but in the process... I am being changed
without even realizing it... and realizing that I need to change
myself... without focusing on myself... hahaha.  I'm confusing myself
now.  It's so hard to explain.  But after changes start to happen, it
becomes easier and easier to love and to help others.  Anyways... I'm
sure at least some of you kind of understand :-)  especially those who
are married.

Sorry I'm so bad at writing good emails... I have such a hard time
thinking about what to write about.  And the time goes by so quickly.
I love your letters though!  Thanks for everyone who's written me.
I'm sorry I'm so bad at writing back.  There is seriously hardly any
time.  I think Preparation Days are just as busy if not busier than
every other day, especially because it takes so much time and energy
to wash laundry by hand.  I'm not complaining though :)  I really like
everything about this place. I could live here forever!  :)
I love you all!

Heidi