April 26, 2012

Dear Family,

I just finished day TWO!! at the MTC.  I really, really love it here.  Time is passing very slowly... there are people here in my same mission who have only been here a couple weeks and they feel like it's been forever.  They are the ones giving us tours and lessons!  I guess that will be me in a couple weeks!  I am honestly not nervous in the least though!  It's so weird!  Tomorrow morning I am teaching my first "investigator" in Tagalog.  One of my companions is super nervous about it... but I know if the spirit is with us, we will be able to convey our message, even if that means we will be acting things out, haha.

So I actually have two companions, Sister White and Sister Bowen.  They are both awesome and I have loved getting to know them, although it is annoying how whenever one of us has to leave class to use the restroom, we ALL have to follow.

My very first experience in the MTC was being put in a classroom where not a word of English was spoken.  I was happy to find I could understand a lot of the Tagalog!  Several hours later, we could all have a friendly conversation and get to know each other a little bit.  I am so excited to be able to speak fluently soon.

There are 6 girls living in my "residence."  It's just one small room for all of us, but we are never there except to sleep.  We do EVERYTHING in our classroom.  We basically live there.

I like the cafeteria!  Dessert at every meal... so many choices... all you can eat!  No cleanup. :)  It's a good thing our first gym time is tomorrow!

It's a little sad - I don't think I am ever going to be able to write as much as I would like because there hardly seems to be any time at all.  I have been learning so much!  The spirit is SO strong everywhere I go and I don't even have to try to feel it.  I just can't help it! :)  I love being a missionary.  It truly is incredible.  The church is true.  I know that with all my heart.  I love you all!

Sister Heidi McClellan

Farewell Talk

I have had several requests to share my farewell talk for those who couldn't be there, so I have done my best to type it up as close to how I said it as I remember.  For those who were able to make it, thank you so much.  I really enjoyed seeing so many of you.  I have felt so much love and support in the past few weeks... more than I think I ever have in my entire life, so thanks everyone!  I love you all!  I'll miss you!

Dare to do Right

For the past few weeks, I have been staying at my sister’s house in Missouri. During the weekend of General Conference, between two of the sessions, I received a phone call from my best friend. Wanting some privacy, I decided to take the call outside. I ended up going on an extremely long walk… I don’t know about any of you, but when I’m talking on the phone I have to pace or walk or something. I can’t just sit still. Anyways, as I began walking, I realized I was only wearing one pair of thin, brightly colored, mismatched socks without any shoes. I found this somewhat funny… and I’m sure the neighbors did as well, but I had plenty of time before I needed to get back for the next session of conference, so when I was finished with the phone call, I decided to continue walking around the block. Little did I know that the block was huge! I began looking for shortcuts and finally decided to go back the way I came. I took a wrong turn somewhere though and ended up lost in the neighborhood… in just my socks. The thought crossed my mind to call my sister, but I still had some time and honestly wanted to spare myself the embarrassment. I began to jog a little to make sure that I wasn’t late and kept looking for a street I recognized. I wasn’t really worried. I was sure I would find it eventually. It was a really hot day though and sidewalks are sometimes hard to find in Missouri, so I was walking mostly in the street and gutter. Soon, my socks began wearing through and my feet began to hurt and burn. I slowed to a walk again. Eventually, my feet hurt so badly that I resorted to walking through people’s grass which I am normally very careful not to do. Just when I was wondering what else could go wrong, I stepped in some recently watered grass followed by a construction site where I could not avoid the dirt, which resulted in a very muddy foot. I was late and extremely uncomfortable, so finally I decided to pray for help. I prayed that I would not make another wrong turn. After that, I walked straight to my sister’s house. When I got there, I took off my socks and found that my feet had several blisters, including a really bad one on my toe that turned black… and it’s still there. It was a very funny experience, but also one to learn from.

I began thinking of analogies even as I was on my walk. I thought of and learned several things that this story could relate to, but there are three things that have been on my mind lately that I would like to share and at least one of them applies to my assigned topic, so that’s good. The first thing I learned is that we need to prepare ourselves for the things that lie in our path – for the temptations, challenges, and trials that we will meet in this life. In President Thomas S. Monson’s talk entitled “Dare to Stand Alone,” he says, “We live in a time when we are surrounded by much that is intended to entice us into paths which may lead to our destruction. To avoid such paths requires determination and courage… May we ever be courageous and prepared to stand for what we believe.” I was extremely unprepared to go on a walk… I was foolish to attempt to go on a walk without shoes, without being familiar with the neighborhood. Our preparations must be strong. If our preparations are weak, like my socks, they will wear out quickly and allow temptations to enter the holes that are made. Satan knows us. He knows how to tailor his efforts specifically for each of us. He knows where those holes are that he can get through. This is why we must be strong and prepare ourselves to fight. We can prepare ourselves by doing those things that we know are right... by being obedient to ALL of God’s commandments, by attending church and reading and praying, and continually increasing in learning. Sometimes we fall short, but if we are doing our best, God will strengthen us and help us.

In the past few months I have been going through a somewhat challenging time. Satan has been trying to convince me that I don’t know enough about the gospel to teach it to others. I should have paid more attention in Seminary and Sunday School. I hear stories that sound familiar, but I don’t know where they came from. Shouldn’t I know these things?... How am I supposed to teach others when I don’t know everything myself? Satan doesn’t want me to serve a mission. He knows how much good I am going to do so he is trying harder than ever to stop me. It’s been challenging, but because I know that with the Lord’s help, anything is possible and that I am doing His will, I will be able to do whatever He needs me to do. As long as we are doing all we can, God will send His angels to help lift us up and make up for our weaknesses.

There are consequences to choices that we make. My choice to go on that walk resulted in long-lasting injuries and greater temptations. As the pain overcame me, I gave in to the temptation to walk in other people’s grass. I know that to most of you, that isn’t a big deal, but to me it was because I try so hard not to. Some people don’t like it. Bad choices sometimes bring with it greater temptations. It becomes harder and harder to stay on the straight and narrow path (and in my case, the sidewalk). For example, If we tell a lie to someone, then we may feel greater temptation to continue to make the same lie or make up others to cover up the first one. It continues until you become more and more willing to lie and it also becomes more and more difficult to hide the truth. This may result in lasting consequences including lack of trust from loved ones. The good thing about the injuries is that they can heal in time… it is never too late to return… Repentance is possible because of the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

The second thing I learned is to move forward in faith. After I said my prayer to help me find my way home, if I had just waited for a voice or sign that told me which way to go, I bet I would have been standing still for a very long time. Ether 12:6 says that the witness doesn’t come until after the trial of our faith. Sometimes we need to take a few steps into the darkness before the light turns on. The spirit is like a GPS system. A GPS doesn’t give you directions unless you are already moving because it doesn’t know which way you are facing (Although, some do these days as my Dad pointed out to me afterwards). Likewise, sometimes you have to make a decision and act in faith. If you are going the wrong way, you will be told to make a u-turn. Elder M. Russell Ballard in his recent conference address said “Everyone loses his or her way at some point, to some degree. It is through the promptings of the Holy Ghost that we can be brought safely back onto the right path, and it is the atoning sacrifice of the Savior that can return us home.” Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” This is one of my favorite scriptures because it always gives me hope. I know that God knows everything. He knows what is best for every person. The only way I can be a successful missionary is if I rely on the promptings of the Spirit, which will tell me everything I need to know. If I pray for guidance and act in faith, He will lead the way. Move forward into the darkness and the light WILL follow!

The third thing that I would like to share is that we are never truly alone. Although we must prepare ourselves so that we can stand up for what’s right and sometimes that means going against what everyone else around you is doing, the Lord will be standing by your side every step of the way. Without His help, we would not be able to stand firm for our beliefs. It is in fact because we are never alone, that we CAN stand alone when the need arises. One time when I was feeling particularly lonely, one of my good friends told me something that has never left me. He told me a story about a man who heard a mob discussing ways of stopping the works of Joseph Smith. This man stood up and said “Dethrone God and you will stop Joseph Smith.” My friend then said, “I tell you this to remind you that the only way that we could ever be separated from the love of God is if He were dethroned, which WILL NOT EVER happen. We are NEVER alone! God is always mindful of us in our darkest times as well as our times of light.” I know that what my friend told me is true. We understand that sometimes we act in ways that separate ourselves from the presence of the Spirit, but we also know that it is our choice. The door is always there to be opened again when we choose to open it by repenting.

I know that God loves each and every one of us. He gave his only begotten son, Jesus Christ, to atone for all the sins of the world. He will NEVER stop loving us or being mindful of us. Everything around us is a manifestation of their love - the world, the temples, our families and friends, the list goes on forever. I am so grateful for this knowledge and for the gospel which brings happiness to each and every day of my life. I am so grateful for the opportunity that I have to teach the people in the Philippines. I am so grateful for all the missionaries around the world who are serving the Lord by sacrificing their time and talents to the building of the Kingdom of God. I am so grateful for all the faithful members of this church who are diligently serving in so many ways. In quick summary, let us prepare ourselves to stand firm for our beliefs, move forward in faith, and have the full assurance that God will be with us as we do what we know is right. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.